A man came up to me while I was buying wine at Pick n Pay today. He was well dressed and I thought he was going to ask me for advice on what to pick (of course, why wouldn’t he -the obviously sophisticated creature that I am). Instead he asked if I would like to buy him wine. At first I thought it was just a language mix up – but no, he repeated, could I buy him wine as a favour.
“Of course not,” I said, mortally offended by the idea.
“Well, why not?” he asked, seemingly genuinely surprised.
“You must be joking. Are you joking?” I asked, checking behind me for a candid camera (you never know, the series could be running on Swazi TV)
“I have lost my job and I could have a heart attack,” he said mournfully.
“I’ll buy you bread,” I offered, “no problem”.
“No, I want wine,” he said. Then he tried God. God would bless me if I bought him wine. That was his mistake as we were getting somewhere about the bread. I would have had to explain that bread is an essential food stuff for someone who has lost his job, and wine, well, wine is…non essential. I almost put my third, highly priced bottle back.
“You must be joking,” I said, “God has nothing to do with this,” and walked off.